That thought stopped me dead in my tracks the other day.
What if there is no big mystery for me to unravel about myself? What if there is no ONE BIG THING that I am here, in this world, to do? What if I don’t have a singular purpose the way I have been told, and chosen to believe?
At first, I got really upset. This has been such a big part of my life for such a long time. The hunt for my purpose. The looking. The hoping. The failing to find it. The feeling of hopelessness that comes with not knowing. The hope that comes with the thought that “once I find my purpose, my true calling in life, things will fall into place, life will be easier, I will attract what I need to fulfil that purpose. If only I knew what it was…”
Then what I felt was freedom! Happiness! Elation!
If there isn’t this one big thing that I have to find… Then I can relax. I can enjoy the ride. I can be me and be happy. And being me, right here, as I am, can be enough.
How good is that?
What about the possibility that there are several, smaller little meanings to my life? And what about if they can change over time? What about if where it’s at is following my dream, one step at a time, and realising that dream can change.
When I think about it, it’s almost impossible for it no to change!
I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago, living in Sweden, never having been to Australia. My life journey has taken me to some places I never even dreamt of visiting. I’ve seen some stuff man, and some things! And I’ve changed on some levels, and on some levels not.
The way I would have lived my so called purpose 10 years ago would have been vastly different from how I would live it today.
So doesn’t it feel better to relax into the thought that there isn’t this one, elusive purpose out there, waiting for me to find it? Instead, there are these smaller dreams, excitements, happy places that light me up… And my life is about stringing together as many of those as I possibly can.
In that scenario, life is a hunt for the good stuff. Life is about having this experience as a human, and that’s it. There is no other big secret to it. It’s about being here, it’s about enjoying the ride. And that’s a freeing thought to me.
So my life, from this day, will be about following my dreams. And they can be small, they can be big, they can be about me or they can be about the greater good. I will do what feels right, and fun, and good, and important to me. Whether that is my “purpose” or not, who cares?
What do you think? Crazy? Or freeing?