Use your fears

I’m currently reading “The Me Myth” by the fabulous Andrew Griffiths. Such an inspirational book filled with little gold nuggets.

If you don’t know who Andrew is, go have a look at his website. He’s a really great guy and “The Me Myth” is a story about his personal journey in life. He’s been through some pretty tough times and made some inspiring decisions. I’m lucky to have Andrew as one of the mentors on a business development program I’m currently attending. Anyway, this is what caught my eye and tied in with my emotions today:

“Over many years I have learnt to identify other people’s fears coming to the surface. As soon as I hear someone telling me what I can’t do, or why I shouldn’t be doing something, I get a small internal smile and I look at them to see why they are scared of my desire to reach for my dreams. That is their issue, their problem, their challenge, but I never let it stop me.”

Reading this I realised how often, in the past, I have not been supportive of my friends dreams. It made me stop dead in my tracks! I would like to think of myself as a pretty positive person, someone who is supportive and helpful to her friends. And then it hit me. I often hide behind being the “logical” or “reasonable” friend. The one who “stands with her two feet on the ground” (not that there’s anything wrong with that, on the contrary, it depends on how you do it though and that it’s not just a cover up for being stubborn and boring). I’ve been the one who will ask: “Have you really thought this through?”.

Sometimes that question might be called for, and sometimes it might well be much more about MY own fears than about supporting my friends in living their dreams. So from now on I’m going to be super-vigilant about this! I’m going to get to know myself and my fears and do my very best to keep my own fears from getting in the way of me supporting my friends to live their dreams. I’m thinking that when I manage to do this myself, this is what I will see in others too. It will come back to me in the way of the people around me being supportive of what I want to do, the dreams that I dare to dream, the cool stuff I want to create. They will encourage me and I them. This way, we will create a more positive, fun relationship between us.

There might be a time and place to ask questions, to be a bit cautious, to get to the bottom of what is going on. And generally speaking, isn’t it more fun to be supportive, going with the flow and seeing the possibilities that are out there? Doesn’t it feel better to have a positive attitude and be happy about someone going for it instead of finding reasons why it won’t work? And to know that perhaps, more than anything, those reasons why it won’t work for your friend, is just your own fears talking? When I look at it like that, what can I learn about me? And how can I use these insights for my own growth and development?

What do you think?

Here’s to playing a bigger game and living life to the fullest!





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